Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Endings and beginnings

The memorial for my boss's son was held last night. It was a beautiful tribute to a beatiful child, full of remembrances and joy. The slideshow was the hardest part--happy family pictures of a little boy running gleefully at the edge of the surf, or playing with his toys, or smiling as he pinned his little brother in a bearhug. I cannot imagine how his parents are surviving as well as they are, but they seem surprisingly calm, and able to reflect on how much happiness he brought them instead of the enormous pain of his loss.

. . .

This morning we headed to my first OB appointment, where a new RNP talked with me about diagnostic testing options, finding a replacement for my OB and other routine stuff, while I silently panicked, awaiting the ultrasound. But when it came...my god, I had forgotten how amazing it can be. One sac, one embryo, one flickering heartbeat. I cried a bit, the grinding nausea completely silent for the first moment in two weeks.

It seems so real now.

6 Comments:

Blogger Foxxy One said...

How utterly heart wrenching for that poor family. They have been on my mind a lot as I tuck Dylan into bed. They are in my prayers.

Hurray for a heartbeat! I hope the nausea isn't too bad and goes away soon :)

1:32 PM  
Blogger 4katnap said...

Peace to the bosses family and massive cheering for the heart beat!

3:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, what a few days you've had. I'm in awe that the family was already finding some peace. Strong people.
A very heartfelt congratulations on that flickering heartbeat. Always, always, an incredible sight.--Sue

4:45 PM  
Anonymous Jen said...

I can't even fathom a memorial for a 6-year-old. How sad. I'm glad everyone got through it okay.

Oh, but I am SO very glad that the ultrasound was okay! What a wonderful, wonderful thing.

7:28 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

So sorry, again, for your boss's family. So happy for yours!

xx

12:40 PM  
Blogger Thalia said...

I wrote a better comment than this but blogger swallowed it and I can't recreate it. But very happy re your magic heartbeat. Very sad for all that loss.

4:25 AM  

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