Sunday, September 26, 2010

On giving up, again

This pregnancy is most decidedly going nowhere. The tests--we're up to ten now--are getting ever fainter. Minor cramping has returned.

While this impending loss does hurt, it hurts in a very focused way: I am sad about losing this pregnancy, but it does not leave me mourning the loss of my dreams for the future, for the dream of what a life with three children could be. I spent last month processing that particuar grief, and hope hadn't entirely run away with me this time. I will be OK.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Melanie said...

You're in my thoughts today. There are really no other words.

10:29 AM  
Blogger JV said...

I'm sorry... The only thing I can say is that I'm very sorry.

11:27 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...

I'm so sorry, honey. I was really hoping for a different result for you. Thinking of you and sending lots of love.

2:25 PM  
Anonymous Jamie said...

Bugs-
I found your blog last week and started at the beginning. Yesterday and today I have read it in its entirety, all the way up until this heartbreaking post that just came today.

I am a newbie to the world of infertility and my story is yet to be told. But I wanted to express my sincere condolences for your loss this month and what it means for your future. If there was something I could do, I would do it.

Much love-
Jamie

4:04 PM  
Blogger Brandy said...

I wish I had eloquent words to say but all I can really come up with is that you're in my thoughts.

10:16 AM  
Anonymous Jacquie | After Words said...

I'm so sorry.

12:01 PM  
Blogger Foxxy One said...

I'm sorry sweetie

12:18 PM  
Blogger Foxxy One said...

I'm sorry sweetie

12:18 PM  
Blogger Miss Ruby said...

I'm so very sorry.

x

11:58 PM  
Anonymous cass said...

Just sending hugs, my friend. And wine, when you need it.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Thalia said...

Bugs, sorry to hear this. I know you are ok, but it's still always very sad to say goodbye to a pregnancy.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Alex said...

I'm so very sorry.

7:08 AM  
Blogger Conceptionally Challenged said...

I'm so sorry.
Thinking of you.

8:02 AM  
Blogger Alexicographer said...

Oh Bugs ... I'm sorry.

6:32 PM  

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