Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Grace

Yesterday, I was granted two remarkable graces.

My father, despite Saturday’s admonishment to get his affairs in order and prepare for the end, will be going home from the hospital tomorrow. Whether it is a respite from the decline or a sustainable improvement is yet to be seen, but he will be going home. He will sit on his white couch in his white living room and admire the San Gabriel Mountains at sunset; he will sit in his decrepit armchair in front of his antiquated television and watch something—maybe good, maybe bad, but certainly of his own choosing. He will sit in his own disheveled bed and work a crossword from the New York Times, grumbling over pop references but getting them nonetheless.

Being with him has been poignant and powerful, bleak and beautiful. The essential core of him is still there, loyal and kind and irascible and vulnerable; the externals are just stripped away.

I said there were two, and the second is a grace of a different color—an indulgence, perhaps. It is the vivid blue plus sign on the pregnancy test I took last night when we returned home from Los Angeles.

These clichéd cycles of birth and death are staring at me, with their soft pink skin and diapers and quivering hands, with their burdens of neediness and duty and love. I feel a sense of awe in their presence.

46 Comments:

Anonymous Alex said...

I am delighted by the news of your dad.

And of the +++ sign.

Please (assvice alert!) get your TSH tested ASAP. Early PG can stress the thyroid and failure to catch this and increase dosage...if your thyroid cannot itself respond to the increased demand...is not a good thing.

6:48 PM  
Blogger k said...

I am doubly happy for you and your family (your Dad and, you know, another possible family member).

I hope all of it works out for the best.

6:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderful news on both fronts.

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Leggy said...

Great news- on both fronts. Were you doing a cycle and I missed it or did this just "happen"? Either way- wow!

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

still smiling over here, my dear

7:57 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

Lovely news on both fronts!

8:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did I miss a FET? Or was this one of those urban myth natural cycles?

Either way, I'm over the moon for your news. How wonderful!!

And I'm also very glad things are better with your father. Thank goodness.
-D.

8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have always wished that I was one of those people that would know the right thing to say for all occasions, happy and sad.

Nonetheless, what a glorious couple of bits of good news. Very best of luck on both counts.

12:04 AM  
Blogger Thalia said...

My goodness, what a wonderful day, Bugs. What a relief to see a new post from you and hear such wonderful news. I do hope it keeps on coming.

12:13 AM  
Anonymous Boulder said...

Bugs, I didn't think I'd open this to see either piece of news. To find both is a very happy surprise. I pleased for you, and wish you the best on both.

2:09 AM  
Blogger Cricket said...

Congrats on both accounts, Bug!

5:10 AM  
Blogger Cat, Galloping said...

oh my gosh, bugs! what great news!

5:43 AM  
Blogger Lindy said...

Wow! I just can't stop saying it! Or smiling for you. Now I get to add one more to the "I have this friend who..." category.

6:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderful, fabulous news on both fronts Bugs.

6:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agggh (insert happy noises here)! You and Mare -- agggh! TWO pregnancies in one week! I can't believe it!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!1

--Soper

7:05 AM  
Anonymous Mollywogger said...

WOW.

Big, beautiful news all around.

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...

I could not be more thrilled for you, my dear friend.

7:39 AM  
Anonymous Mandy said...

Beautiful news, times 2. Wonderful!

7:56 AM  
Blogger EJW said...

Hooray!

8:01 AM  
Anonymous B. Mare said...

There definitely seems to be something going around, and I am so glad it's catching!!!!

8:50 AM  
Blogger Becky Sprecher said...

Great news on both fronts. Hooray!

8:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!
I'm so happy for you!

9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You brought the biggest smile to my face this morning. I am so happy for you. Congratulations.

9:06 AM  
Blogger electriclady said...

Oh my goodness! Wonderful news!

9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*stunned into happy silence*

9:24 AM  
Anonymous soxfan said...

SHUT UP!!!! i knew it! congrats on the pregnancy!!!!! woo-hoo!

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well that's just lovely - congratulations! And good news about your father coming home. Grace indeed...

11:23 AM  
Anonymous caroline said...

Beautiful post and beautiful news - congratulations!

12:14 PM  
Blogger VHMPrincess said...

oh my - so much good news in one post. Congrats on the blue lines!!!

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome on both counts! Now the nanny can think you're pregnant all she wants!

12:48 PM  
Blogger Claudia said...

Brilliant and beautiful! Congrats to you, hope all goes well with both the pregnancy and your father.

4:34 PM  
Blogger Millie said...

What great news all around!Congrats!

4:49 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

NBHHY. :)

4:52 PM  
Anonymous deborah said...

Would you mind stopping by and coughing on me? You know...just in case it's catching?

5:05 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

Here's to beautiful news on both sides of the spectrum. So incredibly happy for you Bugs!

6:11 PM  
Blogger Ollie said...

Ooooh, here's to both graces being continued blessings!! WOOHOO!

7:25 AM  
Anonymous laura said...

Oh my. The good, the bad, the delightful, all wrapped up together. So, so, so pleased for you and your family.

7:47 AM  
Blogger jenbuster said...

I'm glad to hear your dad is back at home. Glad he is able to enjoy the things you talked about. Glad to hear of the positive and hoping NBHHY.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Dear Bugs,

Wishing you only the best on both fronts.

11:10 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

As everyone else has already said, great news on both fronts. Enjoy it all.

12:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats!!

2:22 PM  
Blogger Anna H. said...

Weeeeeeeeeee!

Beautiful news, sweet Bugs!

Love you guys.

2:46 PM  
Anonymous amanda said...

What wonderful news. Congratulations!

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow!!! Keep us updated on all fronts please!

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Bugs oh Bugs OH BUGS BUUUUUUUUGS!!!!!!!!

YEY!

6:12 PM  
Blogger Dirty Butter said...

Glad your Dad is a little better! Since this is an old post now, congratulations seems a wee tad overdue, but great news, nevertheless!!!!!

3:06 AM  

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