Sunday, February 19, 2006

Self-piteous me

I've been extremely lucky. In most ways, I've had it pretty easy these last few months. I wouldn't trade this pregnancy for anything and would bite the hot, hairy balls off of anyone who tried to take it away from me, but all of a sudden I'm finding it hard. Really fucking hard.

There's the none-too-surprising Willendorfian body transformation (oh god, the tapioca-like carnage of my thighs) and the inability to maintain a train of thought; any train of thought. There's the limping lurch that succeeds every attempt to rise from a sitting position; the unstoppable stream of pee that sneaks out when I sneeze; the pain between my shoulder blades that turns working at a computer into a form of ingeniously slow torture. Uncomfortable, but mostly expected.

But a couple of weeks ago, the endocrinologist who looks after my thyroid noticed that I had a heart murmur. I haven't had a detectable heart murmur for about sixteen years--not since the summer of my dilettante eating disorder. It's not serious, but it scares me to know that it has returned. Next, the doctor on call at my OB's office found, to my enormous surprise, that my long-dormant asthma has made a strong comeback, where I just assumed I was supposed to feel out of breath at this stage of the game. Though not sixteen, it's been at least nine years since I needed an inhaler. While there, I was simultaneously diagnosed with sinus and bronchial infections, given prescriptions for antibiotics and an albuterol inhaler and told to "go home, lie in bed, take Tylenol every four hours, drink hot fluids and don't get up till next week."

So, I can't walk very well, can't breathe through my nose, my lungs are indulging in little airless spasms and I've coughed up so much orange goo that I strained what might once have been an oblique muscle. And I've missed three crucial days of work.

But I am glowing.

If only it weren't from a low-grade fever.


Blogger JJ said...

Get well soon!

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Wavery said...

Oy yuck, you sound absolutely under the All of the weather. Take it easy.

6:38 PM  
Blogger sherry said...

Feel better, bug. Soon.

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

you can laugh at me or ignore me, it's okay ;) but I really think you should get an echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart) to check that murmur. I have a daughter w/a serious heart defect & in my research found that many more minor heart defects go unnoticed in adults. Unnoticed until they become very, very serious. Please get this checked out before you go into labor.

8:20 PM  
Blogger Lindy said...

Take care of yourself Bugs. That all sounds just miserable. And take Amanda's advice.

5:24 AM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

Sorry you are feeling so lousy. I think I developed a murmur the day of the transfer. According to my PCP and perinatologist, murmurs are quite common in pregnancy. Functional murmurs are nothing to worry about I found out (after much freaking). I hope that's all it is for you too.

7:18 AM  
Blogger April said...

Thinking of you bugs.

7:32 AM  
Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

Oh, oh, oh! i'm so sorry you're feeling like crap.

I, too, have my asthma leap out like a villain in a bad horror flick when I get pg. One week I'll be fine, next week, a wheezing, gasping wreck dragging around my house clutching my Albuterol.

Feel better soon!


11:32 AM  
Blogger tracey said...

Wow, you got hit hard. Take care of yourself and sorry you are feeling like crap. Or as one of my eighth graders wrote in her journal, "I feel like carp". That too.


1:29 PM  
Blogger Ornery said...

Make sure your hubby is taking good care of you. Feel better soon!

8:20 PM  
Anonymous thalia said...

Am just picturing that orange sorry you are feeling grotty, that's a lot of ailments to have to deal with suddenly. I hope bed is not too boring.

12:33 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Poor thing! Rest up! I hope you feel better soon.

5:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you're feeling better soon. As for the murmur, it's most likely nothing to worry about. I have an innocent murmur (although nobody but my husband, a pediatric cardiologist, and my OB have ever noted it to me), and it got a lot louder during my pregnancy. The increased blood flow through the body pumps up the volume, so to speak. A lot of people have murmurs that are never picked up, and almost all are entirely innocuous. And, from what I've gleaned from my husband, very, very few murmurs are connected to problems like heart defects (many of those don't produce murmurs, apparently). But certainly if you or one of your doctors have any concerns, get it investigated further.


11:56 AM  
Anonymous thisgirl said...

So sorry you feel bad, hope you're better soon.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous soxfan said...

asthma worsens for 33% of women in pregnancy, stays the same for 33% and gets better in 33%. mine was HORRID during pregnancy. sounds like you're in the same boat. but,,,, it will subside after delivery.

3:16 PM  
Blogger tonya said...

It sucks to be so sick while pg. I sure hope you feel better soon.

9:24 PM  

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