Showers turning to rain
There is something anti-shower in my nature. It is instinctual, a pure gut reaction. Don't get me wrong, I quite like other people's showers--I even like hosting other people's showers--I just don't like them when they're for me.
And it's not just showers. Any event in my honor sets off a buzz of alarm and a low, achey dread. Birthdays, our engagement party, the two wedding showers (one hosted by friends, one at work), and now this. Know what they feel like to me? A job interview. No joke. I get self-conscious, smile too much, can't seem to absorb what people say to me. I just hate being the focus of anything, to be perfectly honest. Hate it.
The dread is compounded when I am informed that my shower, as generously thrown by my sister in Los Angeles, will include, I kid you not, games. Games. May the gods be merciful and preclude anything that involves measuring or touching my belly in any way, that is all I now dare to ask. However, a thousand times worse even than belly-centric games, there is to be a...theme. And it is "floral and pastel." She wants people to wear the theme colors of pale green and rose.
As I don't own any pale-green-and-rose maternity dresses, I guess I'll be wearing black to match my mood.