Monday, January 02, 2006

Eating toejam

The ever-kind and thoughtful Jeff had the great idea of going away for a romantic weekend in early February. Our life in recent months has been anything but romantic--stress, work, scary pregnancy shit, nausea, work, housework, broken appliances, rats in the garage, work--and we both looked longingly, amorously into each others' eyes at the thought of a getaway.

He found a quaint, cozy oceanfront cabin rental about an hour north of San Francisco off Highway 1 and called for a reservation. I was delighted as I overheard the woman say that it was available, as she described the luxurious linens and soaps, the fireplace, the view. And then she asked Jeff whether we were celebrating a special occasion, and he said that, yes, we were...

"...you see, my wife is pregnant...

(Pregnant pause.)

...and we want to have a few days of fun...

(Another.)

...before she gets too...

(Another.)

...large...

(Another.)

...and sedentary."

Large. Sedentary. Words cannot describe how sexy, how steaming hot, that made me feel.

20 Comments:

Anonymous thalia said...

At least he means well...

8:00 PM  
Blogger Cricket said...

He's in for the long haul, poor guy. You'll be equally sexy after the baby comes, but enjoy the sedentary while you can!

8:21 PM  
Blogger penelope said...

my husband could add a few

- until she starts snoring like a Mack truck

- until she starts burping incessantly

- until she gets some REALLY ugly pregnancy pants

hee hee - at least he didn't use the verb 'waddle'!

have fun!!

9:25 PM  
Blogger MsPrufrock said...

How did the woman react to that? I don't think I'd know what to say, and I would certainly be inclined to laugh. I give him credit for coming up with a word like "sedentary" on a whim. Well done Jeff.

5:19 AM  
Blogger amyesq said...

Laughing pretty dang hard, especially since you could try all you wanted, but you would never be large. Sedentary, well I hope so.

-Amyesq
already large and sedentary

6:26 AM  
Blogger chris said...

I suppose it could have been worse.

Take care.

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...

I'm glad to know that Steve has some competition in the sensitivity-impaired department, as this weekend he used both the words "waddle" and "huge" to refer to me.

Hope you have a lovely weekend away!

8:13 AM  
Blogger sherry said...

My husband described me as wide. WIDE. As in "wide load". He meant it in the most loving way, of course.

Enjoy that weekend away.

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Tine said...

Ha! Still giggling. I hope the woman on the phone laughed -- at him, of course, not at you!

I don't think my hubs has SAID anything like that about/to me this PG, but he does spontaneously burst into laughter every time I take my clothes off. I'm not sure that's any better.

11:14 AM  
Blogger April said...

Ahh Bugs... enjoy your weekend together. The two of you will certainly deserve it.

Heh.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Aaaw. He meant well! Enjoy the trip.

7:47 AM  
Anonymous laura said...

And just lovely to describe those oh so intimate thoughts to the woman taking your reservation. At least they'll know which room to stay away from! Good husband, though, to know that a trip away is important!

8:04 AM  
Blogger Cass said...

Oh, swoon. How romantic. (Ha!)

I hope you both have a fantastic weekend away, despite the lovely description. You deserve it (the weekend, not the description)!

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Menita said...

Hilarious!

1:03 PM  
Blogger elle said...

Too funny! Have a great time - getting away is a wonderful idea!

1:30 PM  
Anonymous wessel said...

LOL! Oh dear. Well, I hope that you weren't too large and sedentary to reach for the frying pan and give him a whack.

9:08 AM  
Blogger Ova Girl said...

And they say romance is dead!!

4:27 PM  
Blogger tracey said...

Is it okay that I laughed ? Enjoy your lovely weekend !

9:41 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

That's so cute. Have fun! :)

10:46 PM  
Blogger stella said...

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4:01 AM  

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