Sea of questions
Thank you for your generous comments, support, suggestions and kindness. You are giving me the strength to believe that I will find a way to cope with this soon.
I am still in overwhelm and still in shock. The more information I get, the more torn and terrified I feel. The options, slim as they are, are not good--not good at all. There are many happy stories of successful triplet pregnancies with perfect outcomes. And there are poignant statistics on the devastating effects of severe prematurity in triplets.
The sensible part of me wants something I still can hardly fathom: that a potential baby in my womb would not make it, would quietly give up. The others would be safer, and I know that would be best. The irrational part, hungry and greedy, wants them all to stay, and damn the consequences.
In the end, the choice will be about the best interests of these tenacious little creatures that have so surprisingly decided to stay with me, at least for now. We will see a specialist, we will ask a hundred questions, and Jeff will be there to help make the decision if I start to lose perspective. For now, though, I'm still wandering in a haze of uncertainty.