Wednesday, October 05, 2005


There is a quality to some women that fills me with a humble, admiring jealousy. In real life, I have only known a few--my grandmother, for one; a friend's wife; a former co-worker. I imagine the quality in others--Meryl Streep and Madeline Albright come to mind--but I could be making it up. I start out feeling a little shy and klutzy and unrefined around these women, but they always find a way to make me forget myself.

The quality is hard to pin down, but it encompasses several things I wish I had. Poise is certainly a component, as is a particular form of intelligent, gentle articulateness. The ability to empathize without comparing pain, to listen without self-interest and without contemplating a reply in advance. The skill to meet a stranger and make her feel comfortable, welcomed, liked. A sense of humor sparkling in the corner of an eye.

Jeff and I were lucky enough to spend Sunday morning with just such a woman and her equally wonderful husband: the stunning Anna H. and the delightful BHM.

And when a woman is as kind as she, it's impossible for the jealousy not to be trumped by a sort of friend-crush adoration.


Blogger wavybrains said...

I wrote an entry on this exact same topic just the other day!

Delurking to say that I'm hoping things continue to go well for you.

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am soooo jealous.


2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Upon reading this my wife turned beet red and is hiding under the bed. Can you please help me get her out? You are so sweet! Can't wait to see you both again next month!


7:29 AM  
Blogger Anna H. said...

It's true, what BHM said, but I've come out long enough to say oh Bugs, you are the sweetest.

I'm dreading the day you realize that I've tricked you, because I want the mutual adoration to continue for years and years... but even when you've found me out, I won't stop loving you.

Much love to you and Jeff and the little tomato.


10:35 AM  
Anonymous Wavery said...

Super jealous!

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Menita said...

Super super super super jealous. So jealous I seethe.

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Menita said...

Wait, I just read BHM's comment. You are meeting again NEXT MONTH?!?!?!?!?!?
Oooooooo now I'm livid.

12:50 AM  
Anonymous Soper said...


Akeeyu kept me in the loop with your saga while I was out of pocket, and my heart alternately leaped and cried for you. Hoping you are ok, and that your tiny little one is doing well!

6:08 AM  
Anonymous joie said...

I have known some of those women, too. They are unforgettable. back in grad school there was one such that everyone had a friend-crush on. Later when I met my husband and found out he knew her and had fallen for her as well, I thought "how could he not?" But, oh, the jealousy!

5:29 PM  
Blogger amyesq said...

She does rock, doesn't she? Graceful is a good word to describe her. And caring, gentle, beautiful.

Glad you were able to connect with friends while you were down in our neck of the woods. Any strength you can get from others is a Godsend.

1:21 PM  
Blogger laura said...

She sounds like a wonderful woman ... just the kind to be a good friend. And humble, at that.

Hope things are still going well for you ... looking forward to updates on the little one.

4:21 PM  
Blogger wessel said...

Hey, I'm jealous too! :-) Looking forward to hearing updates from you, Bug.

7:23 AM  

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