We were referred to a maternal and fetal medicine specialist, one who has an excellent reputation both for successfully shepherding high-order multiples into the world and for his skills in selective reduction. We were pleased and thought optimistically that we might meet him this week, begin to form some sort of plan.
However, the simple act of calling for an appointment has been an unimagined obstacle; I tried several times from work, sneaking to my car and clutching my cell phone in desperation as a ten minute hold became a twenty minute hold that turned into a disconnect. So Jeff tried a half-dozen times, as he was home, and finally managed to reach a receptionist on Monday. With incomparable incompetence, she insisted that Jeff was mistaken and that I was only at six weeks' gestation (it was nine weeks on Wednesday) and said that "the doctor is not available for regular appointments but will call you for a phone consult within the next six weeks." Seriously, that was her answer.
Dr. FYC is contacting his office to see what can be done. In the meanwhile, I am trying to focus on eating and functioning and working and eating and trying not to wonder what the future will hold and eating some more. I do not want to eat--want nothing less, in fact--but have read enough about how important weight gain is with multiples to feel compelled to try. The book that several of you recommended--"When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads" by Dr. Barbara Luke--is both fascinating and daunting: How on earth will I gain eighteen pounds by week twelve while battling constant nausea?
After trying to follow a fairly healthy diet for the last twenty years, I'm now admonished to start snarfing platters of steak and pork chops, pounds of lasagna, mountains of mashed potatoes, tubs of ice cream, butter and hamburgers, Egg McMuffins and Hostess Fruit Pies, and all without being able to enjoy them one single bit. The thought just makes me want to cry. And puke.
I just don't think I can manage it. And I didn't realize that feeling like an inadequate mother could crop up this early.