Monday, July 18, 2005

AssHip

The progesterone shots were not too bad last time. Sore, sure; a little swollen, you bet; some bruising, absolutely. Ah, the good old days.

Yesterday, around five a.m., while lying inert on my left side, I was awakend by a shooting pain in my right...in my right...hmmm...hindquarters? Haunch? There is no good description of the PIO location, but feel the back of your hipbone and head spinewards half an inch.

Foolishly, I rolled over to my right side and, in so doing, discovered a whole new world of hurt, a world named AssHip. I spent the next twenty-four hours making little mewling sounds and dreaming of the moment when my enforced bedrest would end. I tried pillows and propping, massaging and meditation, but what I needed, oh so desperately, was to stand up and relieve some of the pressure from the ever-swelling AssHip, which was unwillingly bearing a substantial part of my supine weight.

When I managed to arise this morning, in preparation for my first day back at work, I was prepared for the agony of getting up but was shocked by the searing, stabbing misery of walking. It felt like my glute had been nearly severed, and my leg buckled. It was at this point that I noticed that I had gained a large saddlebag-like protrusion from the AssHip.

The new and different progesterone, perhaps? Could that be the cause? This one is in sesame oil; the old one in peanut. I've emailed the IVF coordinator with a heartfelt plea for help, but who knows when I'll hear back? The thought of inserting another needle into this swollen internal bruise makes me consider doing a bunk.

I found a pair of fat pants--fat slacks, in fact--that accommodated the AssHip, and managed to clothe myself. Jeff had to drive me to work, as I was not confident that I could operate the brake pedal with sufficient force in an emergency. (This proved to be a mixed decision in, erm, hindsight, as we were sideswiped by an apparently license-less, insurance-less hit-and-run driver on the way home. You see, if I had been driving, we would have been long past the intersection of Highway 92 and Interstate 880 South and would have missed the whole sordid episode. On the highways and freeways of the world, however, Jeff purposely chooses the slowest car in the slowest lane and then just tucks in behind for the duration. He says it helps because then he doesn't have to "think as much about driving." Sometimes, he accidentally follows an elderly Oldsmobile driver to a destination that is not, in fact, his own.)

To top off my day, as if the AssHip and our brush with the recklessly uninsured were not enough, I am also coming down with what is probably the flu, as I have been nauseated and woozy all day, and perhaps a tad feverish. Unless, of course, I can blame that on the progesterone, too? (And, no, it is not three-days-post-transfer pregnancy symptoms, for anyone optimistic enough to say such a thing.)

In closing, if you are a veteran of the AssHip, or have any medical training of any kind, for the love of mercy, I beg you: help me. I have iced and heated, heated and iced, and it has helped not at all. I cannot, of course, take any kind of pain medication or intravenous vodka, but the AssHip demands something.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I tried a couple different types of PG before I found one that didn't hurt. I assume you are taking PG-in-oil. If so, they have different types of oil they can mix it in and if you have a bad reaction to it, you can switch to a different type of oil. Just a thought.

Linda
http://indigogirl.typepad.com

4:20 AM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

I don't have an specific knowledge, but I wouldn't give yourself another shot until you talk to the doctor. Is it possible you are allergic to seaseme oil?

4:32 AM  
Anonymous Leggy said...

Not much I can recommend except a hot wet wash cloth, a heating pad, and tylenol (since you can't take advil). I've had a ton of trouble with PIO, which is why they gave up and are giving me Prometrium & Crinone next time around. My doctor told me that once you do the transfer, there isn't that much of clinical benefit to PIO vs. pills/suppositories, so maybe you can discuss it with them and switch?

I also would try the docs' emergency line if you aren't getting a prompt enough response. If you are that uncomfortable, it counts as an emergency.

Oh the things we endure in the quest to have a baby.

5:38 AM  
Anonymous Allie said...

I'm no dr. but my RE has me do the PIO on my outer hip - all the way on the side. My IVF nurse always marks it out for me. But interestingly, they avoid the area you are describing due to the proximity of the sciatic nerve. I'd definitely call your dr.

6:18 AM  
Anonymous amanda said...

It's weird. The PIO shots for some of my cycles have hurt way more than others. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that pain.

I've found that icing makes things a whole hell of a lot worse. Maybe try just heat for a few days?

I think a lot of the after effects have to do with shot placement. As my DH has become more proficient about getting it in the exact right place, the soreness has gotten better.

I'm sure you're doing them in the right place, but I heard the shot placement described really where somewhere: Draw an imaginary cross on your butt cheek. Within the upper outer quadrant of the cross, draw another one. Within the upper outer quandrant of that cross is where the shot goes.

Good luck. I hope it gets better soon.

6:43 AM  
Blogger Mellie said...

Sorry I have no assvice (whole new meaning here, huh?) to share, but just wanted to send along good thoughts. I hope your doc has a solution for you.

7:29 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...

Ah, honey, I hope it feels better soon. No advice here, just hopes that you can fix this, so you won't have to go through this agony for the first twelve weeks of your pregnancy.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous persephone said...

Owwwwww! Bugs, I'm really hoping this is not something you have to put up with on an extended basis. I second the suggestion to call the emergency line if you don't get an email response by 3 or 4 PM.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Cass said...

Oh sweetie. I have nothing to offer except to echo the suggestion to pester the Dr's office for help. And to find out if you can at least take Tylenol at this point. And to take it easy. I'm thinking of you, my dear.

10:06 AM  
Blogger Suz said...

All I can say is that everything felt worse the 2nd time around when they got 21 vs. the 1st where they got 3. The amount of eggs retrieved seemed to cause more cramping, nausea, sweats, everything. I was miserable for a few days and then it gradually let up.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

No assvice for your asship just a gentle {{HUG}}

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Brenda said...

Oh geez... what a crappy day. If the AssNurse doesn't email back with any Assvice for the AssHip... can you call every 15 mintues until they get the hint. Sounds like an allergic reaction which can't be good. Hope you feel better soon!

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Wavery said...

The AssHip deserves respect. It has been deeply injured by the flagrant attitude of the youthful PIO. Make the PIO bow reverently next time.

Now seriously, that sounds kinda bad.

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey girly,

I am with you. I did my hcg shot on sunday, my best friend who is a nurse gave it to me in the hip and it was the freakest feeling i ever had and was followed by horrible pain, then i got my po shot i tuesday. This time we tried it a little closer to the butt, well this was the worst pain i could ever imagine I could not walk or even stand and was crying the whole day. I called my dr and he switched me to Prometrium. I was so let down I felt like a failure that i could not endure the shots cause i was told that my chances of IVF working with this method were alot less. So I decided to try the shots 1 last time in the other side where i was so afraid to try cause I have a Rod in my leg drilled into my hip from a car accident. Well i found the courage and believe it or not it didnt really hurt till the next day.Then the next day I did it in my left leg and it was worse than ever i just layed on my bed screaming i tryed everything 4 hot showers, heating pads, stretching, walking, you name it nothing helped. I phoned the clinic and my dr called me back and relieved me by saying he thinks my chances with Prometrium are very good. So tommorrow moring I will insert 1 up my vagina and 1 by mouth and repeat it before i go to sleep. So wish me luck and if any one wants to talk my email is annettemichele7373@yahoo.com

Good luck everyone!!!!

4:25 PM  

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