Thursday, July 14, 2005

And down we go

The news today, it wasn't good--not quite the prime number I was dreaming of. After examining the eggs, the embryologist found that only ten were mature; after ICSI, only seven fertilized. Still, seven is better than three, and I am trying to take comfort in it, cold as that comfort may be.

Jeff took the call this morning--I couldn't handle the strain--and I knew from the sound of his voice in the other room that the results weren't great. The embryologist told him we'd decide on Saturday how agressive to be, once he finds out how well they're dividing, but that we might want to start thinking about a higher number. I take it this means that the egg quality is doubtful, and that we might as well go all-out.

I started to have some extravagant notions--lots of good eggs, lots of good embryos, plenty to freeze, maybe even a pregnancy--and I guess I should've known better than to get so far ahead of myself.

Bugger.

19 Comments:

Blogger Cass said...

Oh sweetie. I know this is not the number you wanted, and that it changes the plans a bit, but I'm still holding strong thoughts for the seven you have. I'm also holding one of those yummy looking strawberry margaritas, just for you. And some chocolate. And kleenex. And a big hug.

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Allie said...

Don't even stress - my RE expects 70% of eggs retrieved to be mature and from that, 50-60% will fertilize. Sounds like you are right where you should be. I just had my 2nd cycle retrieval today so I'll be here cheering us both on!

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...

Oh, dear.

I know this isn't the news you were hoping for, but please know that some of those "extravagant notions" (like, oh, a pregnancy) aren't so extravagant after all. I am still crossing all things crossable that despite this little setback, you will get good news in the end.

It just sucks to be back here, I know.

Sending you lots of love and hope for good news in the days to come.

11:59 AM  
Anonymous patricia said...

Hang in there. This is still better than last time and I'm hoping the results will be better as well.

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Leggy said...

Keep repeating "at least we're in a better place than last time."

It is so hard isn't it? There are so many damn hurdles to overcome, aren't there?

Try to keep the faith and hang in there. xoxo

12:22 PM  
Anonymous OvuOpt said...

Sweetie, I know you're disappointed, but 7 is nothing to sneeze at. Actually, 7 has a rather nice, mystical kind of ring to it. So here's hoping that Lucky Seven is the magic number, that all look beautiful come Saturday, and that the next couple of weeks fly by with happy results at the end. As always, big hugs and cheers for you. XO

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Z said...

sorry you diddn't hear what you wanted but it sounds like you still have a good chance. i'm still praying that all comes out great for you. if it helps, you got a rooting section in texas!

12:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not over bugs until it's, well you know the rest.

I think your results sound right on track and I'm crossing all my parts (and remember, I'm now a 'bigger' girl, so some things I can cross twice ;) and sending lots of love and luck your way.

Emily

1:16 PM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Seven is fantastic! Come on, Bugs, it is just the drugs kicking your arse right now. You are still totally in the marathon.

1:28 PM  
Blogger D. said...

Don't get down, keep up your postive feelings. Some people dream of seven. You probably don't want to hear that from me, so you can cyber slap me if it will make you feel better. Good luck!

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

delurking to say that seven is a fantastic number! it's all a matter of perspective 7 is better than 3 is better than 1 is better than...
how disappointing for you after so many eggs [seriously, I dream of such quantities of embryos], but that's still lots to transfer and hopefully freeze some. good luck!

1:47 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

Don't be sad. I only had 8 fertilize out of 21 and I think that we still got some decent embryos. I'm sure that some of those 7 eggs will be fine and that's all you need.

2:06 PM  
Blogger PJ said...

All is not lost Bugs. Hang in there. For all you know all 7 may turn out beautifully and then you would have some to freeze.

Hang in there.

2:19 PM  
Blogger K said...

7 is still a great number. I'm hoping that the caution is for naught and that come transfer, you have your pick. Best of luck!

2:28 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

~shaking dice in my hand~

Come on lucky #7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:29 PM  
Blogger Anna H. said...

God, how I hate the IF mind-fuck -- the feeling that our hopes and dreams are extravagant...

Like everyone else here, I have all my bits crossed for you that seven is a very lucky number.

Thinking of you.

xxoo

2:57 PM  
Anonymous deborah said...

Seven is good, Bugs. Really, it is! And don't get too hung up on embryo quality, either. I had "perfect" embryos my first cycle that didn't do squat, but the "slow" ones from cycle #2 got the job done. Go figure.

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Menita said...

Wai, wait, wait. Very little in this whole mindfuck means anything. I had perfect embryos the first two times and...Polly was a resulted of the fragmented ones in round 3. So wait, wait, wait, because with this thing you truly never know.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Zarqa said...

Dude, those are still good numbers. All you need is one (or two :) Hang in there!

7:16 PM  

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