Sunday, June 26, 2005


I'm still around, I just haven't found anything worth saying, or the energy with which to say it. In addition to the sense of both overwhelm and impending failure, I've just been feeling a sort of marginal depression. Feeling low. Feeling down.

I think the BCP's are affecting me. My temper has been snapping unreasonably, I can't seem to feel anticipation or satisfaction in anything and I just want to hole up somewhere quiet. I have been doing things--going to work, birdwatching with Jeff--but I can't garner much enthusiasm.

I've been negligent with your blogs, for which I'm sorry, though please know that I've done a lot more reading than commenting lately. Just can't seem to think of any words to string together.

I'll be back to normal one day, won't I?


Blogger Suz said...

I've been feeling pretty low recently too... I hope one day that everything returns to "normal" although I don't know when it will be. Thinking of you.

5:19 PM  
Blogger kristenL said...

Whenever you are ready, you know we are here ((and queer, get used to it!)woops someone just came back from the pride parade.))

6:58 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

I just want you to know that I commend you for naming your blog DEAD BUG.

It takes moxie, I'll tell ya!

7:22 PM  
Anonymous amanda said...

The BCPs have a knack for doing that to me, too. They're just evil that way. I hope you feel better soon.

6:06 AM  
Blogger D. said...

Sorry you are blue. I've been there, done that!

7:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Bugs. *Smooches and much love to you.* I know where you are.

Karen/naked ovary

8:51 AM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

It is definitely going around. No worries! (Ha! as if!)

10:53 AM  
Blogger Mellie said...

Bugs, Sometimes you just get that way. All I want to do these days is go home and play Grand Theft Auto. I firmly believe that you go through life following a wave pattern - there are highs and lows and you don't know how steep each curve is. But eventually things turn around, and hopefully there will be many more ups than downs. Hang in there. We'll all behind you.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...

I'm so sorry, sweetie. Unfortunately, I'm right there with you. Shall we eat some panzanella and drink mojitos to alleviate our suffering?

12:35 PM  
Blogger JennaM said...

A mental care package: watch Scrubs and Reno 911 on DVD. Drink Bogle red zinfandel. Let your dogs lick your face until it smells like their disgusting breath. Eat chocolate croissants and/or manchego cheese. Lick your wounds and wish harm to evil cretins. Be as quiet as you want to for as long as you want to.

5:22 PM  
Blogger twirl said...

I totally understand the "nothing to say/no energy" slump. I had to remind myself that I don't owe my blog any posts and that it's perfectly ok to have downs like that.

I hope you feel better soon.

1:07 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

Thanks for letting us know where you're at. That's the funny thing about blogging. It can make normal look boring and boring look bad... Must! have! newsworthy! happenings! daily! Hang in there...

6:14 AM  
Blogger amyesq said...

Oh, sweetie. Sorry you are having a time of it. The BCPs, combined with the stress of your new job and your grandmother are definitely more than enough to make you feel that way. Sometimes, it's all you can do to get up, put on your big girl pants, and get on with your life for the day. I commend you for being able to do that right now.

11:42 AM  
Anonymous T said...

That seems to be a common theme when bcps or IF is involved.

1:55 PM  
Anonymous Ollie said...

Fuckin' A Bugs, I am right there with you in the BCP Temple of Hell. I hope you are back to normal very, very soon.

7:13 PM  
Blogger Mony said...

Sometimes it's too hard to find the words.
It's easier to read than to write. Hope the blues beat it soon.

12:52 AM  
Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

Add me to the growing list.

Fuck, this blows large.

It never occured to me that it could be the BCP. I thought I just sucked in general, ya know, as a person.


Hope you all feel a bit more perky soon.


12:44 PM  
Blogger Anna H. said...

Here with you Bugs.


2:11 PM  
Blogger wessel said...

The BCP's made my life a living hell, and I'm so thankful that I am finally off them. Yeah! So I hear you.

Have no fear, my dear. I check your blog every day and will continue to do so. :-)

8:23 AM  
Blogger Internal Spring said...

You are normal, but hormonal. I'm sure your enthusiasm will return soon along with well strung words.

6:15 PM  
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