Monday, April 11, 2005

Welcome to my futon

I have been spending about two-thirds of my time on the futon in the TV room. Initially, I was using it as a couch, but eventually Jeff decided to put it down to its double-bed size so I could really spread out.

I have watched a lot of television, and I have slept through a lot of television. I have eaten a lot of cheese, and a lot of fruit. I have read things edifying and things entertaining. I have sent (three) and received (many) emails. Sounds pretty good, right? I thought so, too. Till I realized that lying down all day kinda sucks ass.

Know why it sucks? It sucks because I'm worried like I've never been worried before, and I'm cyber-lonesome. I have not been able to keep up with the blogs very well (can't see the monitor clearly from my supine position) nor do any good searching on what embryos are supposed to look like.

So I figured I'd relieve some of the boredom by writing a post, which presented some logistical issues (i.e. not being able to read the monitor) but seemed like a manageable task. Big problem, though: what to write about when you haven't left the house since Friday morning and are not feeling particularly reflective? Not a lot of material, to be honest. So I'm inviting you to relive my bedrest with me. Come, pull up a piece of futon and join me! Exciting, no?! OK, not exciting. I know. I know. And, no, I don't actually expect anyone to read this, so please don't feel obligated. Really. Unless you're having insomnia and are in need of a little soporific.

Here are the movies I watched on TiVo:

Born Yesterday (1950, Judy Holliday and William Holden, v. good)

Coming Home (late 1970s; Jon Voigt makes for one sexy paraplegic, lemme tell you)

Some Kind of Wonderful (who ever thought Leah Thompson, of all people, was pretty enough for a role that required almost nothing but pretty? Mary Stuart Masterson was so obviously the hotter one; why even pretend?)

The Paper Chase (1973. This film highlights very, very bad haircuts. And what ever happened to Timothy Bottoms? Was it his name that did him in?)

Analyze This (thought I remembered this being pretty funny. I was wrong, unless I slept through the funny parts. I've been doing a lot of drifting off)

Master & Commander (Paul Bettany=yumyum; gorgeous cinematography and not too much Russel Crowe, whom I find inexplicably grating)

Father of the Bride II (this was a little, "We thought you might like it!" recording that TiVo did all on its own; I gave it three thumbs down and then deleted the fucker with great vengeance when I discovered that the plot included accidental pregnancy by Diane Keaton at, oh, forty-seven or so)

I also read quite a bit. If you are not yet sleepy with the boredom, please feel free to continue:

Pigs in Heaven, Barbara Kingsolver (entertaining follow-up to The Bean Trees, though perhaps not quite as convincingly written; involves adopted Cherokee girl and no unplanned pregnancies of any consequence)

The Murder Room, P.D. James (haven't finished yet, but it's pretty typical P.D. James stuff. There is a murder. There is a murder room.)

The Eternal Frontier (forget the author's name and can't get up to go check. Fascinating and exceptionally well-written look at the evolution and natural history of North America. Homo sapiens are some seriously destructive critters; those Clovis People most definitely wouldn't be Sierra Club members)

If the boredom and insomnia have driven you to tears and you just need to read something--anything--to put you down for the count, you might as well read all about what I've eaten thus far while on bedrest. Pathetically, I remember every bite.

Two gorgonzola-raclette patty melts with mashed potato casserole, a la Chef Jeff

Salad of field greens with strawberries, almonds and gorgonzola

Salad of field greens with pears, walnuts and gorgonzola

Whole wheat pasta with dried Sun Golds, cashews and gorgonzola

Whole wheat walnut-gorgonzola levain with double-cream gouda

One large grilled eggplant

Four roasted zucchinis

Two pounds of wild rice

Fourteen pounds of sliced Braeburn apples

Six pounds of navel oranges

Seventeen Satsumas

A half-flat of underripe strawberries, minus those used for salads

A cantaloupe

Half a container of Healthy Choice low-fat butter pecan ice cream

Three bowls of kashi with crimson raisins in a bath of Lactaid

One packet of generic graham crackers

Emails checking in on me after the procedure from non-computer friends and family (If you're still reading, you might as well just keep going, because you will be up till dawn regardless. You could read ingredient labels and still not nod off. So I will take my cap off to you. It's a bit greasy from my unwashed hair, but I will doff it anyway):

Five (my friends were very nice but two found the embryo pictures disturbing and one told me that she was "just sure that God would give us our Miracle Baby whenever He's ready!!!")

Other emails from friends and family:

One (My sister, who forgot I had anything going on, even though we talked about it at length last week. She emailed me to swoon about her new boyfriend instead)

Emails from my friends in the computer:

Several (you know who you are, and you made me want to cry. In a good way)

Well, tomorrow--glorious tomorrow!--I get to stand up, walk around and lift objects up to five whole pounds. Can't wait to sit up while typing again! And, even better, I can finally read all of your lovely recent comments in detail.


Anonymous corky said...

Hi Bugs

I've just completed my first IVF and had my transfer last Wednesday so I too am confined to 'non-rigorous activity'. I'm eating lots and although I tried to go shopping it was too discouraging to see my fat *ss in pants. Read a few good books, "Honeymoon in Purdah" by Alison Wearing has been a good read so's funny, so much so that I am worried that I expelled the embryos I put in from laughing so hard. Just finished the Time Travellers Wife for our book club. Our last book Club book was fantastic 'Wild Dogs' by Helen Humphries. I think Humphries and Wearing are Canadian authors so you might have to order them off the internet. Watched a ton of TV and now I can see why bedrest can get tiring after awhile.

commiseratingly yours



8:53 PM  
Blogger Bente said...

Wow, I didn't know how much was involved with IVF. I'm learning so much from yours and various other blogs. I hope everything goes your way, and that your boredom can soon subside.

9:47 PM  
Blogger wessel said...

You are hilarious! I laughed my head off, especially at the list of food items you've consumed lately.

Thank goodness you are going to be able to get up tomorrow. How exciting is that, huh? Just be careful on those wobbly legs at first. :-)

11:12 PM  
Anonymous deborah said...



Mmmmmm, Gorgonzola.


3:46 AM  
Blogger JJ said...

I've been thinking of you often. I know how boring it gets being laid up. If you lived close by I'd come over and entertain you.

4:36 AM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

Can I come to your house for dinner? But I'm bringing my own ice cream. Half a pint of low fat anything doesn't count.

5:16 AM  
Blogger Suz said...

And pie.

Thinking of you and knowing that the rest is doing the embryos a whole lotta good.

6:14 AM  
Blogger sweetisu said...

Sorry I'm late to the show. Go embryos, grow grow grow!!!

I can't believe the list of stuff you've done, and eaten, in lying position. 14 POUNDS of apples?!

Hooray you can get up today.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Mmmmm...the menu sound scrumptious. I'm hoping and praying for the best for you! Cross Stitching ans crocheting are great activities for when you are confined to slothdom (aka bed rest).

8:18 AM  
Blogger Sandy said...

Ok. I'm going to have to google Gorgonzola. It sounds way too healthy to be anything that would find it's way into our house. I had often thought I'd enjoy extended bed rest, and maybe I would now that I've discovered I could indeed read labels without nodding off :-)

Thinking of you, and hoping you're up, around, and with happy news in no time at all!

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cookies, I could bring you cookies :) I make great cookies.

I love Born Yesterday....great movie.


10:38 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

You know, your diet looks pretty healthy, but I don't think you're getting quite enough cheese. Didn't your doctor tell you that embryos need cheese? No?

I'm sorry you're so bored, my dear. At least you're in the home stretch, right? And it sounds like your manservant, I mean husband, has been doing a stellar job of catering to your whims. Any peeled grapes yet?

Thinking of you, and keeping all crossed for you five.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous B. Mare said...

Wait! You're getting up soon? Damn you, I was just getting comfy here. Oh well. I suppose IF YOU MUST. I am so glad there was watching of Some Kind of Wonderful- I love his Stoltzieness in that film.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

I love, love, love Some Kind of Wonderful. How about some High Fidelity?? Cool music and entertainment for your loins in the guise of John Cusack? Actually, on second thoughts, keep those loins rested. Maybe give them some more cheese.

BTW, what on earth is going on with the oranges? Some kind of Vit C cult?

We are all quite happy to lay around with you and keep you entertained. I could teach you to play the spoons.

1:18 PM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Oh, and I loved the Time Travellers Wife. But I don't know if you want to read it in the early stages of PG as it is a bit heartbreaking on the miscarriage front.

Sorry to spoil if you have not read it yet!

1:20 PM  
Blogger kristenL said...

I thought those embryo pictures were fantastic and not at all disturbing. What do they think they started off as? Buttercups?

enjoying your bedrest,

2:48 PM  
Blogger Zarqa said...

I spent one day at home with my feet up after my transfer and that nearly drove me batty. It's so hard to be a slave to our bodies when our minds have other ideas. Of course, that the rest will work to make those little guys feel right at home and stay for a while makes it all worthwhile.:)

4:18 PM  
Anonymous oliviadrab said...

In 100% agreement with you about Some Kind of Wonderful. Please. Mary Stuart Masterson plays drums, has a dark sense of humor, looks great with short hair, and got all dressed up as a chauffeur. Leah pissed and pranced. WOOWOO. I argue this point with Brad, who had a crush on Leah Thompson for years. He just can't see the truth.

And ooh yeah baby. Paul Bettany. His role as Chaucer on Knight's Tale rivaled my devotion to Heath Ledger. I just couldn't choose a favorite.

I'm megasuperhardcore proud of you for keeping your butt on the futon, even when it wasn't pleasant. Rock on that you get to GET UP tomorrow.

4:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:18 PM  

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