Welcome to my futon
I have been spending about two-thirds of my time on the futon in the TV room. Initially, I was using it as a couch, but eventually Jeff decided to put it down to its double-bed size so I could really spread out.
I have watched a lot of television, and I have slept through a lot of television. I have eaten a lot of cheese, and a lot of fruit. I have read things edifying and things entertaining. I have sent (three) and received (many) emails. Sounds pretty good, right? I thought so, too. Till I realized that lying down all day kinda sucks ass.
Know why it sucks? It sucks because I'm worried like I've never been worried before, and I'm cyber-lonesome. I have not been able to keep up with the blogs very well (can't see the monitor clearly from my supine position) nor do any good searching on what embryos are supposed to look like.
So I figured I'd relieve some of the boredom by writing a post, which presented some logistical issues (i.e. not being able to read the monitor) but seemed like a manageable task. Big problem, though: what to write about when you haven't left the house since Friday morning and are not feeling particularly reflective? Not a lot of material, to be honest. So I'm inviting you to relive my bedrest with me. Come, pull up a piece of futon and join me! Exciting, no?! OK, not exciting. I know. I know. And, no, I don't actually expect anyone to read this, so please don't feel obligated. Really. Unless you're having insomnia and are in need of a little soporific.
Here are the movies I watched on TiVo:
Born Yesterday (1950, Judy Holliday and William Holden, v. good)
Coming Home (late 1970s; Jon Voigt makes for one sexy paraplegic, lemme tell you)
Some Kind of Wonderful (who ever thought Leah Thompson, of all people, was pretty enough for a role that required almost nothing but pretty? Mary Stuart Masterson was so obviously the hotter one; why even pretend?)
The Paper Chase (1973. This film highlights very, very bad haircuts. And what ever happened to Timothy Bottoms? Was it his name that did him in?)
Analyze This (thought I remembered this being pretty funny. I was wrong, unless I slept through the funny parts. I've been doing a lot of drifting off)
Master & Commander (Paul Bettany=yumyum; gorgeous cinematography and not too much Russel Crowe, whom I find inexplicably grating)
Father of the Bride II (this was a little, "We thought you might like it!" recording that TiVo did all on its own; I gave it three thumbs down and then deleted the fucker with great vengeance when I discovered that the plot included accidental pregnancy by Diane Keaton at, oh, forty-seven or so)
I also read quite a bit. If you are not yet sleepy with the boredom, please feel free to continue:
Pigs in Heaven, Barbara Kingsolver (entertaining follow-up to The Bean Trees, though perhaps not quite as convincingly written; involves adopted Cherokee girl and no unplanned pregnancies of any consequence)
The Murder Room, P.D. James (haven't finished yet, but it's pretty typical P.D. James stuff. There is a murder. There is a murder room.)
The Eternal Frontier (forget the author's name and can't get up to go check. Fascinating and exceptionally well-written look at the evolution and natural history of North America. Homo sapiens are some seriously destructive critters; those Clovis People most definitely wouldn't be Sierra Club members)
If the boredom and insomnia have driven you to tears and you just need to read something--anything--to put you down for the count, you might as well read all about what I've eaten thus far while on bedrest. Pathetically, I remember every bite.
Two gorgonzola-raclette patty melts with mashed potato casserole, a la Chef Jeff
Salad of field greens with strawberries, almonds and gorgonzola
Salad of field greens with pears, walnuts and gorgonzola
Whole wheat pasta with dried Sun Golds, cashews and gorgonzola
Whole wheat walnut-gorgonzola levain with double-cream gouda
One large grilled eggplant
Four roasted zucchinis
Two pounds of wild rice
Fourteen pounds of sliced Braeburn apples
Six pounds of navel oranges
A half-flat of underripe strawberries, minus those used for salads
Half a container of Healthy Choice low-fat butter pecan ice cream
Three bowls of kashi with crimson raisins in a bath of Lactaid
One packet of generic graham crackers
Emails checking in on me after the procedure from non-computer friends and family (If you're still reading, you might as well just keep going, because you will be up till dawn regardless. You could read ingredient labels and still not nod off. So I will take my cap off to you. It's a bit greasy from my unwashed hair, but I will doff it anyway):
Five (my friends were very nice but two found the embryo pictures disturbing and one told me that she was "just sure that God would give us our Miracle Baby whenever He's ready!!!")
Other emails from friends and family:
One (My sister, who forgot I had anything going on, even though we talked about it at length last week. She emailed me to swoon about her new boyfriend instead)
Emails from my friends in the computer:
Several (you know who you are, and you made me want to cry. In a good way)
Well, tomorrow--glorious tomorrow!--I get to stand up, walk around and lift objects up to five whole pounds. Can't wait to sit up while typing again! And, even better, I can finally read all of your lovely recent comments in detail.