A little light cleaning
I am completely spent, in a very good way, after reading your generous, thoughtful, weep-inducing comments. You've bowled me over. That post was a little tiring to write and I can't quite face another one that requires a lot of energy, so I thought I'd fling a few random things together and hope they make soup.
Suppose I'll start with Naked Belly Woman. NBW had her perfect baby boy at her perfect home about a week and a half ago, perfectly on time. No drugs, short labor. All very perfectly perfect. But--and this is where my evil jealous infertile bitchy awfulness comes out--it turns out that she "tore unusually" and has healed up "incorrectly", due to some "bad advice from her midwife." She is heading in tomorrow to be re-cut and re-sutured, with the probability of reconstructive surgery in a couple of months. Sounds pretty thoroughly awful. And I know that it's very, very wrong, and I do hate to think of her disfigured and in pain, but the simple knowledge that not everything went perfectly for the world's most perfectly fertile woman satisfies me somethin' powerful. She may have three beautiful kids, an ideal husband, a lovely mansion of a house and be movie-star gorgeous, but, even for her, the birth didn't conform to the expected perfection.
And as sick as it is, I am now able to think of her and her baby and her whole outwardly perfect family/house/life with much more interest and compassion and enthusiasm. I was even able to respond to her latest email without imagining saying the words in my forced-pleasant, untouchable voice--the one I learned when I worked customer service for a tacky mail order catalog long ago. In fact, I felt genuinely happy for her and her newest tyke, with whom she's bonding and falling madly in love. Maybe now I'll get around to mailing the gift that I've neglected to send for the last week (and no, I'm not enclosing any version of her card).
On a completely different topic:
I turned on the handy-dandy Blogrolling service that is supposed to append "New Post" to any blog with a new entry within the last 24 hours. However, after blithely assuming that it was working correctly and not bothering to check some of my favorite blogs for a few days, tra la la, I realized that it does not, in fact, work for every blog. It works for a variety, including most or all of those hosted by Blogger, but does not seem to work for others, such as those hosted by Typepad. Anyone know whether there's any way to fix this from my end or am I doomed to an imperfect system?
One more thing:
I have been updating my Blogroll but still feel like I'm missing people. And when I've missed adding people to my blogroll, I 1) feel like a heel, and 2) fail to read great blogs. If I've missed your blog, please let me know so I can add it. Alternately, if I list your blog but you'd rather I didn't link to you for any reason, please just say the word.
This entry over at April's place tells an amazing story. She wrote it back in August and mentioned it in response to my last post. I am floored by what she went through and how she coped.