With my compulsive stick-peeing, I knew that I had not surged at 1:04 a.m. Saturday morning, but by 9:36 that second line was as fuchsia as a...fuchsia. I leave my page-message for Dr. Meow, as instructed by Nurse Nice and Dr. Action. Yeehaw, yippee, yay! It's time for the first installment of my double-dip IUI!
Dr. Meow calls back promptly. I see his name on caller ID and hurry to pick it up. And what do you think he says? C'mon, guess! It'll be fun!
Does he say:
"Great! Please have your husband ejaculate into the sterile container, place it in your brassiere and come on in!"
Or does he say:
"I'm sorry, I'm closing the office early so I can spend time with my family. Plus, you're only on CD12, so I'm sure you're not ovulating just yet."
Which, in all fairness, proved to be the case. But how the fuck could he have known? I ovulated last month, and the month before, on CD12, and got my OPK+ the same day each time. Ratbastard.
The other thing he said, which sounds more ominous and callous each time I think of it, is this: "If you really ovulated on Day 12 the last two cycles, that's something to be concerned about in a woman of your age. Really, I'm glad you're going to be my patient soon so we can get to the bottom of it."
What the fuck? Since when is having a slightly earlier ovulation something to be concerned about? I asked Dr. Action about it just a few weeks ago, and she said that, so long as I'm ovulating, the cycle day is unimportant, unless it gets back to, say, day 8 or 9. And what was that crack about my age, huh? (Yeah, I know, I'm old enough to remember Nixon resigning, but c'mon--you just don't say things like that to people, especially emotionally fragile infertile people, and especially when you're a veteran reproductive endocrinologist, right?)
At any rate, the IUI itself was uneventful. I saw the follicle--on the left, 18 millimeters--and the sperm wash went well. In fact, he reported that J.'s sperm looked, and I quote, "excellent." Which is surprising, unless perhaps the wash doesn't include any kind of check of morphology? Sadly, as it was still two hours before my normal wake-up time--he likes to do his IUI's at sunrise and I like to do my sleeping till 9:00--I did not have the brainpower to ask. (Next time, next time; there will doubtless be a next time.)
The insemination part was a little uncomfortable, but mostly just the same kind of uncomfortable as any other exam when I have to "scooch down to the end of the table and open your knees wide...no, wider."
An aside: Dr. Meow kept inviting J. into the room and offering him a front-row seat at the foot of the table, both during the trans-vag ultrasound and for the IUI itself. When I said I wasn't quite comfortable with that--what with being a bit on the shy side and wanting to preserve any shreds of association J. may have between arousal and my vagina--Meow seemed quite taken aback but acquiesced. Which made me think, Am I really such a prude that he's never had this request before? So I thought I'd bring it to you, kind readers, and ask: are you comfortable with having your husbands/partners staring up your be-gadgeted hoo-ha in a clinical setting? Just curious.
So, that's it for now. Not much else to tell; just meandering through the Wait and eating too much cheese.