Tuesday, January 04, 2005


With my compulsive stick-peeing, I knew that I had not surged at 1:04 a.m. Saturday morning, but by 9:36 that second line was as fuchsia as a...fuchsia. I leave my page-message for Dr. Meow, as instructed by Nurse Nice and Dr. Action. Yeehaw, yippee, yay! It's time for the first installment of my double-dip IUI!

Dr. Meow calls back promptly. I see his name on caller ID and hurry to pick it up. And what do you think he says? C'mon, guess! It'll be fun!

Does he say:

"Great! Please have your husband ejaculate into the sterile container, place it in your brassiere and come on in!"

Or does he say:

"I'm sorry, I'm closing the office early so I can spend time with my family. Plus, you're only on CD12, so I'm sure you're not ovulating just yet."

Which, in all fairness, proved to be the case. But how the fuck could he have known? I ovulated last month, and the month before, on CD12, and got my OPK+ the same day each time. Ratbastard.

The other thing he said, which sounds more ominous and callous each time I think of it, is this: "If you really ovulated on Day 12 the last two cycles, that's something to be concerned about in a woman of your age. Really, I'm glad you're going to be my patient soon so we can get to the bottom of it."

What the fuck? Since when is having a slightly earlier ovulation something to be concerned about? I asked Dr. Action about it just a few weeks ago, and she said that, so long as I'm ovulating, the cycle day is unimportant, unless it gets back to, say, day 8 or 9. And what was that crack about my age, huh? (Yeah, I know, I'm old enough to remember Nixon resigning, but c'mon--you just don't say things like that to people, especially emotionally fragile infertile people, and especially when you're a veteran reproductive endocrinologist, right?)

At any rate, the IUI itself was uneventful. I saw the follicle--on the left, 18 millimeters--and the sperm wash went well. In fact, he reported that J.'s sperm looked, and I quote, "excellent." Which is surprising, unless perhaps the wash doesn't include any kind of check of morphology? Sadly, as it was still two hours before my normal wake-up time--he likes to do his IUI's at sunrise and I like to do my sleeping till 9:00--I did not have the brainpower to ask. (Next time, next time; there will doubtless be a next time.)

The insemination part was a little uncomfortable, but mostly just the same kind of uncomfortable as any other exam when I have to "scooch down to the end of the table and open your knees wide...no, wider."

An aside: Dr. Meow kept inviting J. into the room and offering him a front-row seat at the foot of the table, both during the trans-vag ultrasound and for the IUI itself. When I said I wasn't quite comfortable with that--what with being a bit on the shy side and wanting to preserve any shreds of association J. may have between arousal and my vagina--Meow seemed quite taken aback but acquiesced. Which made me think, Am I really such a prude that he's never had this request before? So I thought I'd bring it to you, kind readers, and ask: are you comfortable with having your husbands/partners staring up your be-gadgeted hoo-ha in a clinical setting? Just curious.

So, that's it for now. Not much else to tell; just meandering through the Wait and eating too much cheese.


Blogger akeeyu said...

There's such a thing as too much cheese?

I don't think you were being a prude.

When Sam accompanies me to exams, he is under strict orders to stay up by my head while he holds my hand, mostly because I don't want him to associate my dainty bits with specimen slides and cotton swabs, but also because pelvic exams tend to hurt me (a lot) and I really need him there for support, not to gawk and say "Golly gee, honey, look at this nifty doohickey they've crammed up your business! I didn't even know that would FIT up there!" Nobody needs that.

I'll be waiting with you. And probably eating too much cheese, as well.

11:05 PM  
Blogger ankaisa said...

Than I must be in serious trouble, too, since I always ovulate early! That sounds so weird.

And my DH never comes with me to any of my exams or retrievals or transfers. He does not want to and I'm not making him. I most likely would feel weird just having him in the room with me, not to mention seeing my vagina probed...

11:48 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

Nothing wrong with keeping the hubby away from the lady bits when heavy machinery is involved! Mine is under strict orders to stay above the waist when any contraptions, including someone else's fingers, are being inserted. Though he has commented that it's kinda weird seeing someone or something else going where only he's gone for the past 15 years.

4:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hell no, my husband will not be down at the end of the bed for anything. He was up by my head for every IUI, IVF, and childbirth.

Also, we had to request a morphology with each IUI. The nurse would come in and say, "65 million! What a great count!" and I'd ask, "How was the morphology?" and she'd look at the chart and her face would drop and reply, "Not good."

I wish you the best of luck,


5:43 AM  
Blogger Soper said...

Ahem (clears throat):

"In only about 30% of women is the fertile window entirely within the days of the menstrual cycle identified by clinical guidelinesthat is, between days 10 and 17. Most women reach their fertile window earlier and others much later. Women should be advised that the timing of their fertile window can be highly unpredictable, even if their cycles are usually regular." Wilcox et al, BMJ 2000; 321:1259-1262 (18 Nov).

And there is no such thing as too much cheese.

D is a damn doctor, and HE doesn't want to be invited down to my nether regions for anything clinically related. Good call.

6:22 AM  
Blogger steph said...

Mine stays above the waist, too. Except for the first one, where poor guy, he was just so danged nervous he folded his arms in front of him and held up the wall. We had to have a little talk about that. I have an IUI tomorrow, too; mind if I join the cheesy festivities?

8:56 AM  
Blogger Barren Mare said...

Above! Abov, dear God, above the waist! There is NO NEED for a front row seat. My Lord, what was the doctor thinking. Poor E. can barely get past the fact that a male doctor might be treating me and seeing my delicate flower- he couldn't cope with a visual of the event as well!

Heh. Cheese.

1:02 PM  
Blogger Orodemniades said...

Wow, only 30%?

Holy mouse droppings, I'm in the clinical 'norm'! Although a very very small norm...

And yeah, there 'too much cheese' is just darned silly. that's like 'too much chocolate' or 'too much butter'.


2:52 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

During my 3rd IUI the nurse invited DH to look at my cervix. She even said to him "see the little bullseye?". I was saying no he really didnt need to see it but he was curious and how was I going to stop him with my feet in the stirups and butt hanging off the bed, not to metion the speculum that was cranked all the way open sticking out of my...well you know.

I hope the IUI works for you. Welcome to the 2ww from someone who is on cd 17.


5:42 PM  
Blogger The Barrenness said...

DH is an ob/gyn and he sure as hell doesn't want to participate in that manner. RE offered him to let him to do the vag ultrasound, and DH just stared at him and looked like he might run out of the room. He quietly mumbled something about not "blurring the lines" betweem home and work. I agreed. What type of RE would suggest that? Ethics, anyone? During the exam, DH fiddled with the ultrasound keyboard, avoiding looking at the love wand probing. I think some of those RE's are either too into their work and totally lack common sense, or just really, really freaky kinky bastards.

I think we may have the same RE. Well, I HAD an RE. I fired him.

6:38 AM  

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