New Year's Day
J. and I drove back yesterday, a day after the big rainstorm that cleaned all the dust from the leaves and left smooth blankets of snow on the Southern California mountains. I spent much of the drive just staring and thinking, trying to get a mental handle on everything that had just passed.
I don't have the energy to get it all down yet; it's fragmented and gloomy, and I don't know if anyone will want to read it, but I'll write it eventually, anyway. I don't want to have to keep thinking it over in my head, a mental rabbit chasing its tail.
Till then, I am looking forward with urgency to New Year's Day. In some abstract way it does feel like a new beginning, a clean slate. And if my body can be willed into cooperation, it may even be true in a more concrete way.
You see, my New Year's Day--Saturday, CD 12--will likely be spent in Dr. Meow's office, receiving my first IUI. As (good) luck would have it, Dr. Action made arrangements with Dr. Meow's office to handle any IUI's that might come up over the holiday weekend, as hers will be closed. I was relieved and excited to hear it, and feel like I'm finally, finally taking at least one step on the right path.