Tuesday, November 02, 2004


I am sitting here paralyzed with an acidic mixture of fear and hope. It is coursing through my veins like little jolts of electricity. My stomach is clenched, my breathing rapid, my heart slightly palpitating.

I spent the first five hours of the day in downtown Oakland at a GOTV site calling somewhere between 200 and 168,947 voters in swing states. If you are one of them, I apologize. I am not very good at it. I am always shocked when someone actually picks up the phone; goodness knows I don't. Hence my surprised, pip-squeaky, "Hi! My name's Bugs and I'm calling on behalf of..." followed by the inevitable protracted pause as you, the callee, try to process what the hell I'm talking about and I look frantically for my cue cards.

But at least I had something to do; something concrete and even possibly helpful. Now, at home with my laptop and my chamomile tea, I am superfluous to the process. More than that, I am unable to escape, even for a moment, from the incredble desire to have this over with. This waiting is mindsuckingly awful.

I am terrified that the Republican election machine's scare tactics and lies may have successfully clouded voters' opinions. That religious zealots will constrict this glorious country with the insular politics of Their Own Personal Jesus. That people who oppose choice (but, inexplicably, support the death penalty) will believe it their manifest destiny to legislate what I should do with my own body.

I am fortunate. I live in a wonderful place full of smart, well-informed, inclusive and compassionate people. People who respect the past but are not deluded by nostalgia. People who don't think "white" and "Christian" are either compliments or insults. And they feel the same way about "Chicano", "black" and "atheist."

At such a loss for how to pass the next few hours, I sit here and ponder. And, in a moment of spiritual revlation, I just asked myself, out loud, "WWJD?"

That's "What Would John Do," in case that wasn't clear.

In my shoes, I think Mr. Kerry would find a useful, profitable and honorable way to pass the time. He would not be sitting here in his jammies trying to distract himself with Jack Lemmon in The Fortune Cookie or checking Julie's blog for the twenty-eighth time today. Wish I was as smart and capable as he. (As him? I am too distracted to remember my grammar. Apologies.) Oh, and that's my one overriding requirement in a president: whoever it is has to be smarter than me. Than I. Whatever.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

>>Oh, and that's my one overriding requirement in a president: whoever it is has to be smarter than me. Than I. Whatever.<<

Not going to happen. Not for the next four years, in any case. Sadly enough. I'm rather certain you are much, much smarter than the man who will be your president. Again. Arrrghh.

My condolences.


7:24 AM  
Blogger Soper said...

In line at the polls yesterday, I struck up a conversation with one of my neighbors who has just adopted a little girl from China.

"What agency did you use?" I asked, since that is our main concern right now.

"XYZ agency," she replied. "They were sooooo great. They're a CHRISTIAN agency" she stressed, as if that settled the matter.

W.T.F.? What if I were Jewish? Or Wiccan? White does NOT equal the same as you.


10:44 AM  
Blogger Lia said...

Thanks for doing what you could. Despite the results, GOTV efforts this election were amazing! I only hope that the Dems can maintain their focus, drive and determination over the next four years. I am dissapointed with my fellow citizens and just...sad. But I'm hoping that this means Bush will be around to have to deal with the real fallout of his policies. Let him try to clean up his own mess!

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I vote absentee. But I drive by a church daily on my way to work that used to be my polling place. For several weeks, this church has had the following message on their sign "Who would Jesus vote for?". I figured perhaps this was no longer a polling place because the last time I checked, electioneering can not take place within 100 feet of a polling place. I was wrong. I drove by yesterday morning and people were filing out of their cars to vote. The sign was still there. I tried all day long to contact the county elections department and was met with a perpetually busy signal.

I am pissed. In more ways than one. Now I will never know what John would have done...

Fractured Fairytale

3:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


2:18 AM  

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