Thursday, September 02, 2004

Hell is Other People

Earlier this summer, my sister, A.K., began counseling her 15-year-old daughter, K.G., on birth control. K.G., blushing and appropriately embarrassed, claimed that she didn't need it. However, as my sister's daughter, I can almost guarantee that she'll need it. And how.

This is my sister who has been knocked up a whopping five times, and only once intentionally. First there was the faulty condom, then there was the pregnancy while still breastfeeding, then the failures of the rhythm method.

My sister-in-law--she of the three tries, three HPT positives--was telling me about how, though her daughter is just four months old, she had to go back on birth control right away, just in case.

And what of my long-lost friend D., who, at 37, told me she was glad that fertility had probably passed her by as she really, really didn't want kids. Yep, one mistake, one forgotten pill, and, hey presto!, she's on the baby train.

Then there are M. and J.K., 41 and 39 respectively, for whome one month of trying resulted in perfect pregnancies and beamish blue-eyed babies.

These women are all blissfully, totally unaware of even the basic facts about their own fertility. They've never taken their temperatures, peed on OPK sticks or tried to gauge the position of their cervixes. These are the women who say, "Maybe if you relax, it will happen."

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish reproductive problems on anyone (excepting members of the Bush administration and maybe Paris Hilton), but I wish that they at least had a modicum of sensitivity about it--that they understood that seeing such naked fertility wherever I turn just makes me feel like a shrivelled, angry, jealous hag. That, while I may say, "Oh, ____, I'm so happy for you," what I mean is actually, "Oh, ____, I want to cry and spit and punch something. Maybe not you, exactly, but something."

Of course, I havent's actually spit and punched things, but the desire is nearly overwhelming. So, K.G., beware: If you do accidentally get yourself knocked up, just remember that there's always a first time.


Blogger Katie said...

I know this is cruel and sick, but when I hear about other people's effortless pregnancies, I feel like stabbing them a thousand times until there is a nice little puddle of blood around them. Most of the people that talk about this around me deserves it anyway. They know of my infertilty struggles and yet, still chooses to torture me with their evil stories. The Bitches.

God, I hope that K.G. doesn't get pregnant. That would just be twisted and wrong.

6:56 PM  

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